I thought really hard on the pressure I'm facing right now to finally get an idea of one I would share eventually. But believe when I say, even this pressure isn't pressuring me at all because I feel everything works according to God's plan and not mine, so why worry so much for what doesn't need my worry.
The pressure will always come, I've learned that growing up because I can still remember getting pressured for being intelligent... "Merit, you should apply for competitions", "You're too good for this class", "Why not just do something else since you're good at this already?"
It goes on and on but there is one thing I always do to get over them... I feign ignorance.
You know that look you give when the person talks without knowing that you have it under control or you have a big God taking full control?
Yes, I give that look a lot!
I mean I act like I can't hear what they say or suggest, sometimes I even go as far as giving them responses that doesn't even make sense at all... This confuses them and make them think I've lost my senses. Believe me, it works like magic in reducing the pressure from them.
I came from a family that acts like they don't care when I'm not around them but when I get a little closer, they want to correct everything that seem like an error or a mistake in my life as if they've been there all along. Well, this is kinda limited to a few of them as there are still the genuine ones who really care.
The main point here is that, I get pressured on a lot of things even from my family but somehow I'm here by myself still making the decision to do things right for myself. What I have learnt from other situations in being pressured is that, I'll end up taking the responsibility for any decision I chose whether I succumb to the pressure or not.
So it is a reason I have to be very careful for myself and those around me. What's the pressure I'm facing right now?
The one I'll say is a pressure even though I seem to have it under control is taking care of my family as an eldest child. They've helped through school and it only makes sense to give back to where helped me. It is my responsibility since I was born and nothing is changing that but how people go about putting pressure on the shoulder of the eldest is sometimes too unnecessary.
I feel like it is really unnecessary because I know very well what I need to do even if I'll do it wrong or not go about it right way at first. It's all a learning process for every stage we get to in life. So why do one have to go through the pressure and even much earlier before one decides to do something?
Well, as usual, I feign ignorance and just go about how I know how to do it best while I learn better. They will keep up the pressure but I'll take it as a small reminder to my big goal.
Getting my family to Comfortability and achieving financial freedom. The time for this to happen doesn't matter so long I'm working towards it and I have God to talk to while I'm on it. What's important is that, I know what I need to do and I hope in God to go about it the right way. So until that sweet result, I keep feigning Ignorance to those pressures.
Images are AI generated using photolab
