A toxic relationship can affect someone in many harmful ways, and I know this from personal experience. But when that person you're with is supposed to love you, and instead hurt you, it really takes a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. I was once in a relationship with a person who I thought was kind and caring, but it turned out to be something entirely different.
https://pixabay.com/photos/beach-couple-leisure-stroll-5571545/ 
At first, everything seemed fine. I MEAN HE WOULD LOOK OUT FOR ME, AND CALL ME AND VISIT ME ALL THE TIME, SO I JUST ASSUMED THAT HE LIKED ME ALOT. However, after months and months I figured out he was not being caring but he was controlling everything that I did. Where was I, who was I with, what was I doing he needed to know at all times. It started out the way I thought it would, he loved me, but then it got to be suffocating. If I was out with friends, he would get upset and question me. I began to feel paranoid about everything, like I was constantly being watched, and I just didn't feel comfortable. I couldn't even relax because I was like what is he going to say if I do this.
When he'd come over to see me, we'd just end up arguing. He would also say stuff about things in the past that I thought we had gotten over but then it would come up again and again. They would be little fights that would escalate into a big one. It would even reach the point that he would want to slap me or really slap me. I remember feeling scared, wondering how someone who claimed to love me could hurt me like that. After the physical abuse, he would always apologize, saying it wasn’t his fault. He would blame it on the devil or just his temper that he couldn't control. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t an excuse. I'm sorry", "I'm sorry", "I'm sorry" didn't change the fact that I was still being hurt.
https://pixabay.com/photos/hands-love-heart-couple-lovers-1283076/ 
Living in that relationship took a toll on my mental health. I felt constantly on edge, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. I felt trapped, like I couldn’t be myself anymore. The pressure drove me crazy and depressed and I lost all confidence in myself. Which I never really bothered me until I decided to depledge. It's not like it was an easy decision but I know that my health (mentally and physically) is so much more important than staying in a relationship that was killing me.
Moving out of that relationship was the best thing I've ever done for myself. As if a huge burden had been taken off my back. It hurt initially, but after a while I knew I could do better. Toxic relationships make you question yourself, they make you feel like you are not good enough to be loved, and they leave scars that take a long time to mend. But staying in such a situation only makes things worse.
If someone is in a relationship like that then I think that person just needs to see the writing on the wall and be all like screw you, I choose me. Nothing is more important than your health, your happiness, your peace of mind. It is never easy to part, but in the end it will be for the best. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect, control, or violence, and it’s important to put your well-being first.
This entry was inspired by the #inleo community and my response to day 24 of the #octoberinleo prompt
Posted Using InLeo Alpha