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RE: Fiction: Words that save. Fictional short story. Original Content. EN/ESP.

in The Ink Well4 months ago

This is an engaging story, @osomar357. It has a strong arc. The idea that a dream is a revelation, or premonition, is quite usual. Most often, though this idea doesn't bear out. In the case of your characters, the dream was prophetic. The detail about the truck driver was an effective touch. It really helped to paint the scene for us.

One thing you might do when writing stories and translating them into English is check sentence structure. It seems to be that often a story translated from Spanish will run on. That is, instead of periods breaking up a paragraph into distinct thoughts, there is a string of thoughts. Look at your first and second paragraphs, for example.

The story is interesting and well planned. Just a little tweaking (such as adding periods) would improve the piece stylistically. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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Hi @thinkwell, glad you liked the post.
It seemed important to me to put the image of the driver, and of the feelings that the situation caused him.
I will take into account the advice you give me, I will also separate the paragraphs more before placing them in the translator, since there are times that it joins.
Thank you very much for the comment.
Happy Sunday.