Hello @osomar357,

You applied yourself with this story. It is quite complex, with several characters and twists. It is admirable when a writer puts so much into a piece. It is indeed a horror story, and with a little polishing could be a very good horror story.

You have explained the punishment Andres receives. You have given him strong motivation. And you have showed this character mercy in the story.

We do have issues with the story that perhaps you can correct. There is a bit of gore described when Andres is hit by the bus. Also, you have him killing a dog. We don't accept cruelty to animals in the community. Please try to find a way around this and edit the story. Perhaps he can pretend to kill the neighbor's dog but not actually kill it.

Also, the story runs very long. Generally, our story maximum length is 1000 words. This goes over 2000. Nonetheless, you did put a lot into it and we appreciate that.

We upvoted your story because you put so much into it and we think it is worthy. However, please make the edits we suggest.

Thank you.