That is a real authentic feeling you describe and it hit me. I was in the same place years ago where it felt like I could never receive the love I had to give. Closing the heart seems a solution, but it keeps you away from your deep feelings I guess. The moment I was brave enough to open up, I met the man who for years was my best friend. It scared me in the beginning, but I took the leap. And we don’t say we are married or in love, but we are in good company. It feels like home. Just trust the process ❤️