I had to go through my phone gallery to see whatever may had been hardest for me than what I thought it was, it turns out the year haven't been so great for me but I couldn't have asked for something more than I got this year. I also couldn't help but remember people whose hardest moments of the year was mourning over their lost loved ones.
I didn't cry over anyone, instead I cried for how far I've gotten and how well I'm doing... Tears of gratitude/joy.
One thing I believe that makes even the hardest seem simple is being alive and be able to tell the story. Not everyone are privileged to tell the story of how hard it got for them at one point in their lives, so the simple act of being here to write about a hardest time in this year is a blessing for me and it doesn't feel like the hardest.
To my title again... If it wasn't a part of the plan, I wouldn't have to go through it, I choose to believe that and it seem to be working out fine for me now compared to how it started. I thought about the whole year and the events that have taken place, the one that seemed to be the hardest but not really the hardest was my decision to go for my service this year.
I think I've written a lot about it already so I won't be going in the direction of writing too much about how hard it has been for me. Instead I'd love to go with the fact that it was a part of this year's plan and thankfully, it's been going well enough for me.
I can't even imagine how harder it would have gotten if I had to solely rely on the pays we get as serving graduates, I see my colleagues go into debts or manage so badly to survive because they rely totally on what they get as pay from country and from PPA employers.
Looking at the whole thing from this angle, can I really say it's been the hardest time for me this year? Now, I can't even continue to use the word "Hardest" lol. I guess I've got no hardest moments for this year, but it doesn't mean it has been all rosy and sweet for me. I remember a night I cried for some minutes thinking hard on what to do, how to come out of a lingering problem with my family.
Thoughts like that could actually fall into the "hardest" context but I'm not choosing that direction because I believe it's also part of the plan to make this year different. For the chance I've got to think about it, make out some plans and hopefully, I'll be able to execute it, I know it's only a matter of time.
So far, the year has been great for me. And I am grateful that my hardest is also a part of the plan for me and my family.
Images used are mine
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