For those who have read my previous post regarding facing my decade-delayed health check, I have been contemplating a lot on the reason that brought this (challenging) milestone to happen in my life.
For those who read what went through many months, and how determined I was to cross into 2024 with a “bang”!, many would have thought that I would blaze every day with that fire of determination.
I thought I was, too.
Until I started noticing my short temper, my inability to be more patient than before, hidden flares of anger (not the fires of determination) started to surface. Yeah, medically, we can blame the menopause is acting up, and even the formation of cysts are just part and parcel of it.
But as believers and co-heirs in Christ, the grafted children of God into the Kingdom of God, this should not be the case.
Menopause should not have gotten under my skin; neither should cysts form because many “retired” peacefully with organs well intact.
Something wasn’t adding up.
Deep within my spirit, I knew it should not be.
Recently, a few weeks before my checkup, a sister who has been very much like the backbone of the prayer warriors in my church approached me, saying that my Aba Father needed her to pray for me.
I was both grateful and taken aback, because despite the outward energy that radiantly flow from within, inwardly I was still “transparent” from the spiritual eyes of the loving Father. Nothing, and I can say it again, NOTHING can skip from HIS gaze.
She mentioned to me that outwardly though nothing seems wrong, but inwardly, “disappointments” and “deep cuts” were formed; and slowly but surely, a façade was formed and I was dying slowly inside.
She offered a prayer for me, and I was deeply grateful and received it; and though often times those burning sensation of anger still tries to pop up once or twice, I brushed it off and chose “by HIS stripes, I am HEALED” declaration, with both faith and doubt occasionally clashes within my soul.
All these came to a halt and the “can of worms in my heart” was revealed and convicted last Saturday, when I stumbled across an interview of a woman of God’s testimony from Sid Roth’s short compilation regarding unintentional unforgiveness that caused her to have that aneurysm to form in her heart. Though it didn’t happen to me (of course), but it struck a chord regarding making a difference for the good outside, but dying on the inside.
Looking at what I have saved up here on HIVE, I took an act of faith and gotten her audiobook, just through 2 CDs (3 in total), I knew that my Aba Father needed me to hear this from a sister who went through that before me. The past she had was relatively similar to mine, but I wasn’t as bad as hers; and I am so grateful that I took the plunge and got it.
And to make it funny, HE wanted me to share it out, in case some could not afford it yet still need to hear it.
product item from sid Roth website
So, in obedience, I uploaded into a subdomain that I own for many decades, and who so ever need an inner healing discovery, please feel free to visit the link below:
The Power of Forgiveness, by Margaret Green
Thanks to HIVE, I could bless myself and someone who may need it, too.
Once I finish listening to the audio book, I will start this 30-day healing journey.
(I just finished CD2, and I really feel I need to re-listen to it again to grasp the essence of realisation)
It is going to be a journey of reflection for me, but I will take time to review it one day at a time, intentionally schedule for a quiet time in the day, and learn to listen for those inner cracks, and surrender to be patched up.
In the mean time, I am still getting back to exercise after a few days of red wave break.
Until Then
Stay healthy, stay curious and learn new things, and stay happy!
If you would like to give some encouragement outside HIVE with some fiat backing, please feel free to visit: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/littlenewthings
You can also support me in HIVE
This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io
