Greetings!
Before now, I used to criticize people who stay in toxic relationships. I used to call them names and found it very hard to understand why a victim would remain involved in a harsh and unhealthy relationship. This perspective followed me until I found myself in love with someone I was so obsessed with, even though she was absentminded about us. It was not much of a relationship—we were just there, pushing things forward. I was seeing clear signs of a "no-go area," especially with how unseriously she took things about us, even though we had agreed to push through and see where it could lead.
I was completely blinded by the truth in the phrase "love is blind" and couldn't move on, even though the signs were glaring that nothing was working. However, in the long run, the blindness brought by love was wiped away, and I eventually saw myself walking out of the cage.
Why am I saying this? No matter how casually people talk about love being one of the reasons victims remain in toxic relationships, it is a true fact. There are people you will love, and it becomes very hard to find fault in them, even when they throw punches at you or push you into the fire. Based on my experience, even when this girl was effectively absent from the relationship through her attitude, I was still concerned and endured everything. I stayed, suffocating my mind with bugging thoughts and feeling rejected. It felt like she was the only person I would ever love, and losing her would mean the end of my life. Rubbish love indeed!
This brings me to another fact that keeps people tied to toxic relationships: insecurity.
There are people we feel are such a big part of our lives that when they leave or detach from us, we believe we can’t move forward or progress. This is currently one of the major reasons many people remain stuck in such situations. It’s prevalent not only in personal relationships but also in political circles and places that thrive on godfatherism. Victims believe that once they leave these toxic individuals, their lives will become meaningless. Hence, they stay and continue swallowing all manner of rubbish from the toxic person.
Then there is the magnet of money.
In relationships, many ladies will bear anything as long as there is money involved. I’m not just saying this based on hearsay or trending opinions—I've seen it firsthand. I know of a relationship where the boyfriend (an internet fraudster who is very wealthy) beats his girlfriend frequently. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to leave because of the money. I once had a close workmate who confided in me about the things she endured in her relationship with her boyfriend. Sometimes, I found her stories unbelievable. Whenever I asked why she remained in the relationship, she would claim it was because they had come a long way together. However, I later discovered that their relationship wasn’t even up to a year old. So, it was all about the money—and that’s the truth.
Thanks for reading.
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