When the mind can't take it anymore, when I have too much stress and my anxiety state is triggered and I didn't pay attention to my anxiety, it bursts me anywhere in the body and where it shows most is in my stomach, ugh these days I have it shattered, I've been belching a lot, heartburn, abdominal pain, terrible cramps.
Living with anxiety is not living. If you suffer from it, you know it.
After the heart attack on August 20 of the current year that my husband suffered, my husband's coronary health (heart failure) is in checkmate, he only has a 30% execution, and this devastating situation is entangling me more and more in my daily life, there are times when I am so overwhelmed, suffocated by uncertainty, with irrational, intrusive thoughts that make me see my fear head on before a sudden death, according to the latest medical report.
He should be operated soon, we are raising the money $25,000 through donations from family and closest affections, to do open heart surgery, to be able to revascularize (coronary aorto). His life is in danger every day that passes.
Without a doubt, this anxiety that I am feeling, whoever lives it, knows it.
Living with anxiety is not living. I, who am feeling it, it has taken me away from my mental well-being, it makes my life a bit complicated, I have been living since then, a constant irrational fear that makes me see the danger of sudden death due to the heart failure that he suffers.
I have already sought help and I am going to therapy with the psychiatrist to unravel my anxiety and it is with these specialists of human behavior that we learn through effective techniques, to manage anxiety and promote inner calm.
At least I am learning to overcome pessimism since I am attending with my therapist, I try as much as possible to make my mind more "calm".
I have to be responsible with myself.
Blaming everything would be an irresponsible attitude towards myself, because it is an unconscious way of sabotaging my peace of mind as if I liked to suffer.
The only way to get out of this vicious circle is to stand up in front of him and make the decision to take action and have a different, determined attitude to this very serious problem of my husband's coronary health.
This life lesson also reminds me that life is 10% of what happens, and the rest is how we react to it. Not everything has been shipwrecked, I continue betting to stir all my resources to love and honor those I love and have loved.
And they know that it is the most beautiful thing in life, to learn to ask for help, because "I alone" "I can't". I hope the help and support will come through the donation and the dissemination of this message with renewed faith and hope, to save my husband's life.
Janitze.🌷❣️
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL