I feel like I can relate to most of these with the exception on the dating app one. I've been with my wife since 14 so that one is out the window.. last time I asked a girl out (my wife), my line was "You wana go out?" and that meant to the mall to walk around a little.
The first one where the dog wants to get up and is like yeah I'm in.. I saw that on 9gag and laughed. Pepper was like that.. Molly would probably just say "F you, I'm not movin.. make sure you come back soon though and bring me something when you do".
Good luck with the dating. I have a cousin that is in the same boat, but he has very unrealistic expectations. I met an older lady at a bar a few months back.. she thought Google Meet was a dating app. 😆