It's rough man. My mom and I are basically full time care givers for my Dad that is sick stage 4 cancer with a Parkinson's cherry on top. It's a downhill slope for him. But I am having to be tough for both him and my mother. So I went from raising 2 kids (now 25 and 20) who are actually doing pretty good on their own, lol, to taking care of my parents. But that's the cycle of life.
Hurting yourself is not going to do anyone any good, especially your mother, so I'll get daddy-like with you for a minute and tell you to cut that fucking shit out. If anything, get your ass in a gym and pump the hell out of some weights. Get a heavy bag and go to town, whatever. The best thing you can do is put aside all the extra crap, including Hive, that honestly doesn't really matter when it comes to these kind of real world issues, and focus on the fam and yourself, man.
I have to find some outlets myself to stay sane. For me, that's where drones and guns come into play, lol. I take my frustration to the skies and to the range. Nothing makes me feel better than ripping it up with a fast ass drone, or sending some frustration down range! It's a hell of a lot cheaper than a therapist, and WAY more fun! LOL... I am in the US, so you may not be able to do the gun part, but drones are bad ass, lol. But you find whatever makes you happy, life is too fucking short not to.
You have my Discord if you ever need to chat.