Pleasant greetings to you all!
Giving guidance to people is regarded as a show of love towards humanity. There's a popular saying that "what the elders can see while sitting down, a child can never see it even if that child climbs the tallest iroko tree".
The words of elders they say are words of wisdom, even though this might not be totally correct. Experiences help shapen our values and ideals about life and how to navigate it. No wonder it is said that "experience is the best teacher". I personally like to learn from the experiences of others and teyto avoid their pitfalls.
There is a burden on my heart to always advice teenagers, whenever I get the opportunity, cos I know tha this t phase of their life is actually quite complex. Having someone tell them that they are normal is quite helpful.
photo by Cottonbro studio from pexels
But I have encountered many unreceptive treatment when I try to offer advice to people. Usually when I encounter such, my hearr aches because I feel such person is throwing away my token of good will, plus all I ever wanted was to offer guidance and see them come out ontop and unscathed. Alas!, This is never the case sometimes.
I will recount one time when my advice and counsel were not adhered to. I was hurt but I learnt. I learnt that " you can take a horse to a stream but you can't force it to drink water"
The Story
Tony was a student I took interest in during my early years of teaching in the year 2012. We met in Cross River state, Calabar to be precise. I automatically assumed the role of a big sister to him while working in the school.
He usually confides in me and even asks me deep questions that puts him in a dilemma. I always do my best to answer all his queries truthfully. One day he came to my classroom at lunch hour to see me, I could tell from his countenance that something was off but I patiently waited for him to bear out his mind to us.
"Mistress I can't sleep nor think straight", he began. Ten he went on to tell me how he opened up about his feelings for a girl in a junior class. The girl ended up telling her seatmates and from there her mother got to know. Apparently her mom was furious with her and threatened to come to the school to report to the school board.Tony was in Ss1 while the girl was in Jss2, this was what made the girl's mum angry. True to her words, the girl's mom came to report the issue even carrying as evidence, some copies of his love letter to the girl.
I counselled and adviced him to focus on his studies and how to graduate after his O' level exams. I thought he took my advice until another scandal with a different girl came up. I got to know from a colleague who had caught him giving her gifts behind the school block. I called him to verify and he confirmed that indeed he is pursuing this new girl because his heart beats for her. I felt so helpless but I still reiterated my earlier advice but from his disposition, I saw that he was not happy with it. So I decided to let him be for a while.
This new girl collected his gifts and betrayed him. When I found out, it was already late cos the news was flying around the whole school. I did not say anything to him ,as I wanted him to admit to his faults and learn but how wrong I was.
The third scandal occurred after school resumed for a new session. This time it was with a female classmate of his and not a junior. He thought he was safe and could code the relationship but his classmates exposed him. With this third scandal, he was severely punished and given two weeks suspension from school.
My interrogation of the matter from his peers opened my eyes to the fact that all my advice fell on deaf ears and he specifically told his friends that "I can't tell him how to live his life". I was hurt but I learnt never to give unsolicited advice especially if the person is not ready to accept it.
I state facts and my views on issues but I hardly give advice except it would be adhered to.
This is my response to the third week's challenge for #thethinkerscorner as initiated by @kenechukwu97.
Thank you all for reading...shalom.
