It would be weird to say the words sorry, I'll just try to show her in my actions that I'm sorry.
After all, she will always forgive me as she is one of my very kindhearted friends.
It isn't a big deal, is it? I made a mistake but I didn't mean that to happen, she will understand, won't she?
This was my way of asking for forgiveness whenever I realize I was the one on the wrong and this was me years ago when I didn't think saying the word "Sorry" has it's own magical effect on a situation.
I think I was more of an introvert person growing up, so I tend to do all the thinking before I take actions or never take them and this affected me to own up to my faults even when it was very obvious.
I can still remember very clearly the first day I told my dad, "Sorry" and meant it for something I did wrong and it hasn't been so long. So that means I could have been hurting dad without the need of sorry thinking he is my dad and won't need his daughter to apologize for him to forgive her.
Dad, I'm sorry about raising my voice at you. I shouldn't have, please forgive me.
I said this to my dad as he lay down trying to get some sleep. This was after so many back and forth pacing around the house because it was new for me and I smiled when I got his response.
It's fine, I have even forgotten that it happened. You've reminded me now and I forgive you, just don't do it again.
I knew he would say he has forgiven me but from all the pacing I did, I realize I was being sincere to ask for forgiveness and saying the sorry was necessary to show it to him which I did. It's not easy to say sorry and be forgiven, it took me time to realise this.
I have been the kind that takes advantage of family and close friends who don't need real apologises (in words) to forgive, I forget that those people also deserve hearing the words if sincerity from me. I just focus on showing it in my actions that "I am sorry" which a lot of times is much difficult and takes more time.
Before now, I'd never say the word "Sorry" and I think it had a lot to do with the mentality I had back then that "people who say sorry could just say and not mean it". I wanted to be different when I try to apologize and my way out was skipping that humble part and going the long way seeking forgiveness.
What I've learnt over time about this habit of mine is that I was just being proud and trying to own up to my fault in my own way which is in itself showing insincerity (I do not mean it)
One time, I messed up and got my friend angry for the first time since we became friends. The detail of what happened, I can't remember correctly but I know my friend couldn't hide her feelings about it. She complained, raised her voice and even walked out on me as I was trying to grasp the situation.
Sometimes, we don't even know when we do something wrong to another. That was what happened to me and before I realize it, my friend was refusing to pick my calls or see me. It was a new kind of feeling and I needed to make the right moves so I don't lose my friendship with her.
I decided to visit her at her place and the first thing I did was apologize while stating clearly what I knew I did wrong, I felt that would show some sincerity that I'm aware and I'm sorry. My friend looked at me and said something about thinking I didn't know what I did wrong but she's glad I do.
She forgave me with a friendly hit and bombastic side eye lol. I felt it that we got even more closer since that day and it felt really good. I've learnt better from experience that The relief, strengthened trust and bond from saying "Sorry" is worth going humble for.
This is my entry to the Neoxian Prompt with the focus on "Reflect on a time when you had to apologise to a friend or partner and how it affected your relationship." and you're invited to participate too.
Posted using Neoxian City
