My little Urban Oasis ...

This story that I'm telling this day, I wrote it to post on August 18th, the same day that my husband suffered 💔 a heart attack that has him in the ICU waiting for a triple aorto coronary bypass, Galen, everything that I tell happened during the last day of this weekend.

Today I decided to publish it...

So I start, very early on Sunday, August 18, at my home.

I believe that the most useful and profound learning of existence is to enjoy, to enjoy myself being alone. It's like throwing sparklers to celebrate the joy of living, because I like myself. To laugh, to be happy when I am with myself.

And on Sunday during the day this was thinking, feeling, happening...

My husband left very early with his friends to play football at 7 am. I didn't feel it, not even when he got up. I slept until 9:30 am. Unpublished in me. And of course, it was Sunday.

I got up with all the "calm in the world" to make coffee and I had a piece of cambur cake to accompany my delicious breakfast.

The August sun on my terrace table whispered to me that while in the southern cone it is the middle of winter and it is very cold there, here this beautiful sun warms the bones in my humanity.

Besides, no one was asking me:

What are we going to have for breakfast? I mean, my husband.

By the way, it's a worry that has no place in my lonely Sunday peace.

Really this Sunday was to reconnect with myself, and it was wonderful to accept myself, recognize myself, love myself. I was just enjoying a little space on the terrace of the home that I call "my little Urban Oasis" nestled in this Caribbean land.

Solitude is enjoyed, it is not the same to feel lonely as to be alone. What a happiness it is to wake up late and enjoy Sunday without anyone spoiling it for me, and without interruptions.

And you ask yourself and then what?

For every day is enough for him with his own eagerness.

Well, the eagerness and haste of life came when my husband's friends told me that Sunday that J.R. had a heart attack while playing football. Oh my God I felt that my 🌎 split in two, they took the "welcome to my home" rug away from me in one fell swoop, what a great pain I felt while I was running around looking for my jeans 👖 flannel and tennis shoes to fly out to the hospital.

This experience between life and death is not going to happen overnight. I manage my sadness so that grief does not consume my energy.

Are the circumstances?

I can't know everything, I do a lot with having fortitude and structure in my personality to face this challenge with temperance and many tears.

I am no longer ashamed to call the doctors who are treating him on the phone, a life is more important, to what others think of me. I will not be the last or the first patient's family member to be called crazy.

Worry (annoyance, anger) is a sign of unconditional love and wanting to do things right, in something that I don't have to know, much less study to be a doctor. In addition, it is the duty of them (doctors, cardiologists intensivists, cardiovascular surgeon) and I stop counting to assist me.

Little by little and one day at a time, I face this new test of fate next to my husband.

Janitze 😞💔