Sending !LUV and positive energy.
I can only imagine the difficulty in this transition based what you have shared and on my own experiences. I lost my mom from cancer in 1977, she was only 49 years old and I was in my first year of a 2 year community college program. Since then, I have experienced the lost of 3 sisters from cancer. As painful as it is, with support from those who understand and care deeply, you somehow continue and in time a spiritual presence strengthens.
Blessings, my friend.