Dear Hive Friend and Hive Learner Members,
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The family is one most important part of our life. We grown up and got married and start our family. The marriage in Indian are mostly arrange marriage, but now the time has changed and the culture of love marriage is also getting popular. When we marriage we are supposed to support each other and take care of each other but it looks very bad and frustrating when one of them trying to take control of other and this becomes the reason of toxic relationships. The situation become my critical when even after such toxic relationships the still deciding to star together, I say the critical world as some time this toxic relationship become so dangerous that it becomes the reason for even death. If I look around me then I can see some of such relationships which comes into such category but still they are continuing, yes they may have their own n number of reason for same.
I know one such incident which I want to share here. Daughters of one of aunty (my mother's friend) got married almost 10 years back. I was not knowing the story until I met my aunty 4 years back. My aunty is living in a village. One day we were coming back form our native place to the city where I am living. My aunty's village was on the way so my mother asked if we can meet her. I asked to get confirmed first if she is at home. Fortunately she was at home only so we decided to meet her. When we reached their home I was not expecting that we will meet her doughter also as she was married and that was not the time of years when the kids has holidays for school. On that day I come to know her story. She was married in a city which was approximately 50 km form their place. Her husband is working professional and in the initial days of the marriage everything was right. Over the time the husband start abusing her and fighting with her even without have a reason. Their were many occasions when he fight with her and start beating also. I was more suprised when come to know that the parents of her husband also live with them and they do not even try to stop him when he start the fight. Their were some occasions when even support her son and that was the very critical situation as she was not getting support for her in-laws. She was feeling alone, frustrating and depressed. When my aunt's family comes to know about her situation the take action and take her back along them them. This was happened after the 5 years of marriage and by that time they have two kids also. My aunty's family decide to file a police complaint and they get it done. Everyone knows this is not the full proof solution of the problem. The take the case to court as all the expenses of kids and their doughter was taken by my aunty's family as the doughter was not working. The police tried or the compromise and asked both of them to live peacefully. Getting divorcé is not easy in India as the court proceedings ate lengthy and the judge mostly tried for compromise or give them one more chance to live together.
After living for years with mother and father the girl decided to go back to her husband's home as they were getting pressure form the society also. My wife called her to know her well-being, my wife also asked her the reason that why she go back to her husband? Is he changed now and not abusing her. The answer was that he was good for some days but afterwards all was similar to the past situation. My wife again asked her that why she is with him now? Her reply was she do not want to be a burden on her parents, there was society pressure also and she do not want to raise her children without their father.
In my opinion the very first train that she decided to stay with her husband was because she was feeling that as she is not an earning member of family then she is burden for their parents. She do not work and this is not al in our culture that if the women do not work tan it's normal. Man are happy that women take care of kitchen and home activities. The feeling of burden on someone and not working is one major reason that many women in our society decided to say quite. The next big reason is the thinking that how a women alone will raise her children. In a man dominating culture their fear is true also. But today's women generation also work and participate in the growth of the country so this thinking will likely to be change in future.
No matter what you tell them. Many times, they could even pick fights with you for pointing out the dangers of sticking to such people. The women in the story I shared above also realised this and she stared working in a school so that she will be indipendent in coming days. This is good and I appreciate her efforts.
What are your views let me know in comment section.
Thanks for stopping by my post.
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