Death is something that I wish I had power over it so as to stop the death of the people that I love. No one really want to die or to lose a Loved one. But when it comes we have no choice than to accept it no matter how hard it is.
Since I was a little girl I have lost people that matters in my life. First it was my father that death took away from me even before I was born. I was denied the privilege of having someone to call - daddy. All through as I grew up I envied children who had their fathers with them making all the provision that is needed and they don't need to go out and hustle like some of us. Because of the blow that death gave me even before I came forth I have suffered all my life taking care of my needs without no one looking out for me. I tried very hard to forgive death, but the more I thought of it , the more death is coming closer and causing even worse harm to me. Six years back I lost my mom. The only woman who stood there when there was no father, no brother or sister that cared. I looked for that man called death to ask all the questions in my heart to know my crime, but the problem is that the more I searched for death, the more I discovered that I can't lay my hands on it. Is so far from been reach by men, yet men are too close to death that it touches anyone that it please. But when I remember the scripture that says - oh death where is your sting? Where is your victory? It gives me joy because even when I can't see them here I know that one day I will see them and death will no longer separate us.
While I was trying so hard to understand all of these mystery, another one happened. My elder sister who I decided to take as my mom after mom passed just fail down while she was cooking, people who saw her rushed her to the hospital and she stayed for days without knowing where she was, the next thing that I had was that she also passed on. What! What happened? How comes? Can't I ever be happy? Most I always have someone to mourn for? Can't I stay for a complete year without crying? Who did I offend? Questions kept rushing through my mind and unfortunately I have no answer for any of these. I saw my would crashing when all the people that matters in my life were been taking one after another by this same person - death. I couldn't eat for days. I also fail sick. But the sickness of not what a doctor can cure.i just wanted to see my mother, my father and then my elder sister. But it didn't work. I thought that the bible says that when we ask we will receive. Why is the answer to this prayers not forth coming? After all said and done, the burial was fixed and we all had to travel home to lay her to rest. So this is how I will someday lose all the people that matters in my life? Definitely yes. I can't do anything about it.
This image belongs to me.
On the fourth of January, 2022, we did what we call the candle night. Fifth of January was the proper burial and I watched like a dream when my sister was lay to rest. After staying back for some days we left for the city and some of her children were still left in the village to fix everything before moving back. Since then I live with this fear that one day, either one or us remaining will still go, from there the next person follows until we are all gone. I kept asking myself, what did we do to deserve all of this? Can't death be taking away? Can't we live in happiness without been afraid of losing someone some day? Only God can help is out.
Death can actually touch out physical body, but can't touch our spirit man. When we die, we only wait for the rest to come so that together we can all rest with the Lord from all our hard labor.
This post was inspired by the hive learners community contest for week 117, edition 3.
