Hispaliterario BUSCANDO EL AMOR 33 VECES CON UNA MASCARA MAS HASTA QUE ME ENCONTRE A MI Y EL AMOR / LOOKING FOR LOVE 33 TIMES WITH ONE MORE MASK UNTIL I FIND ME AND LOVE

in Writing Club8 months ago (edited)

VERSION EN ESPAÑOL

Era un joven tímido y que ansiaba mas que nunca encontrar el amor, me gustaba la poesía, la música clásica y los paseos al aire libre, pero en este mundo artificial donde las redes nos impulsa retocarnos a nosotros mismos, ocultando a nuestro yo, pensé que podría encontrar el amor cambiando mi ser, poniendo una mascara y esta fue una aventura que en vez de acercar a el amor me alejaba aun mas de el.

Comienzo en ponerme la mascara de un ser divertido y jocoso, pero al no ser mi ser verdadero ser, nunca daba gracia.

Así intentando buscar mujeres haciéndolas reír con mi gracia, sin talento, en vez de risas solo penas daba y así 7 mujeres que conseguí al principio, al final era un desastre sin risas, por que intentaba hacerles bromas, intentando parecer con un buen humor, como a una le di un regalo pero con una serpiente saltarina que se asusto y mas nunca me volvió a hablar, a otra en su cumpleaños le hundí su cara en el pastel y mas nunca me volvió a invitar a ninguna fiesta y así se alejaban mas y mas de mi esto fue en la primaria los primeros intentos de conseguir el amor y así termine solo por mi mal e inoportuno sentido del humor.

Así mis 5 primeros fracasos, sin novias ni amigas quisieron tenerme en su vida, el final solo un mal chiste era lo que obtenía.

La segundaria llego y vi una nueva oportunidad desechando esa mascara, pero aun creyendo que la poesía no era el camino ni mi ser verdadero era el destino, otra masca mas me puse de nuevo, allí intente poner la mascara de rockero que no seguía las reglas, buscando fiestas bulleras y con escandalo que no podían soportar, pegando alaridos pareciendo que disfrutaba tal música, y aunque tuve algunos amigos por que era un gran estudiante, aunque al querer parecer un rebelde no estudiaba tanto y no me salía tan bien, así salí con 8 mujeres de ese entorno que para mi era artificial, pero como no era mi ser real y solo una imitación al final, salía por las costuras que allí no estaba mi ser cómodo en ese ambiente que contrastaba con mi verdadero ser.

Cada vez que salía con una de esas amigas que mi ser buscaba algo mas, al final no conectaba el alma para llegar al corazón que amaría mi alma, muchas intentaron que hiciera cosas mas allá de mi ser como beber en exceso o probar el cigarro o incluso esas fiestas con esa música que no aguantaba mi ser. Con muchas solo una vez salí con ellas y no me llamaron mas o yo no insistía mas con ellas ese ambiente no podía soportarlo mas.

Así llego el bachillerato y no aprendía, así otra mascara mas lucia para intentar encontrar el amor que mi alma tanto ansia.
Aun cuando no me gustaba mucho, de salsero bailarín fue el traje que me puse y lucia, así buscando y buscando amistades al fin otros intentos mas tenia, ya había en mi haber 13 veces que había intentado y esta vez 9 mujeres mas que pasaron por mi y solo se alejaron, aunque muchas de ellas parecía en verdad que algún interés tenían, esta vez a mis estudios mas cuidado tenia y por eso solo eso muchas me buscaban para sus materias las ayudara a pasar y aunque a fiestas fui y con el baile y la salsa intentaba cautivar, solo un son de pisotones y baile sin gracia un desastre que un ritmo no causaba, ellas no quisieron nunca profundizar y así al final mi vieja amiga la única fiel conmigo era la que me acompañaba mi soledad.

Intente varios ritmos, merengues, cumbias y tantos mas pero solo era una mascara que nunca logre ajustar, así paso el fin del bachillerato, sin nada mas encontré una cosa era cambiar de mascara de nuevo, al entrar en otro ambiente, la universidad, será allí que me gradué al final y con otra mascara era mi mal pensar.

En esa edad entre a la universidad en algo que me gustaba y daba una sensación de alegría sin par, estudiar biología por que dando tumbos en la vida descubrí que eso era lo que mi alma deseaba, el estudio era mi pasión, en el conocimiento pero yo en mi ceguera y con miedo de mostrar mi ser me puse otra mascara mas.

Conseguí un trabajo, una pasantía desde el principio, pero como con mi madre aun vivía y por eso yo no crecía, ya que solo al lejos del nido volar, afrontando la vida es que aprendemos a esquivar los problemas y así a vivir la vida tan cruel, pero todo el dinero podía en ellas gastar.

Una mascara de lujos pero en deudas, para tratar de deslumbrar con regalos caros y citas, en lujos y cosas superfluas, pero solo mujeres plásticas traía y mi corazón con ellas no se veía y alguna que la pena valía, al verme tan plástico y mas aun con esa mascara que tenia. a ellas conmigo no deseaban la vida pasar, por que en su ser mas interno olían la falsedad y así 5 mujeres mas pasaron en mi vida, no mas mi bolsillo pudo soporta con esa mascara y solo fracasos traía y ni un instante de amor pude hallar.

Así ya casi derrotado y deprimido me sumergí en un mundo virtual de juegos después de 29 veces intentándolo así solo me quise mostrar. Así conocí a 3 mujeres mas, mostrándoles un poco de mi y a la ultima que algunos versos dedique hasta al final me dijo que me amaba y me quería conocer.

Esta ultima esta vez mas lejos llegue, besos caricias y casi lo demás, aunque me detuvo esa vez por algo que después entendí por que. Mas con ella al fin entendí que con mascaras así las hice sentir por que cada llamada y cada encuentra podía descubrir una mascara que su ser cubría.

Aunque nunca lo quise ser en amante mi destino con ella era, a veces me decía que todo conmigo lo desea, pero algo en su vida no la dejaba allí quedarse y así a mis brazos eternos lanzarse, y que tal vez en otros brazos mi alegría debería encontrase. Así me sentía caminando en un filo delgado, apunto de caerme desparramado y mi corazón otra vez abandonado en soledad terminaría.

Así me lance sin mascaras todo mi ser, alagando con poesías a toda mujer que me parecía que lo merecía, y de esa manera encontré a una hermosa mujer aunque mi intensión ni pretendía si quiera en vivo y directo poderme con ella ver y solo una amistad virtual seria por meses o años tendría y con sus palabras me aliviaría para soportar todas las mascaras que ella mostraba ese intento 32 que ahora tenia.

Mas ella aun me decía que en otros brazos me veía aunque mas adelante comprendí que en cerio no lo decía y era solo por algo llenar el vacío y la incertidumbre de su ser. Así con ese amistad virtual que nunca pretendía que así seria comenzó mi intento de amor 33 asi mismo como ven 33 veces intentando encontrar el amor que siempre terminaba en espanto hallando solo la soledad impía que de mi nunca salía.
Hablando con esa mujer sin pensarlo ni buscarlo me dijo vamos a encontramos en persona para ver todo tu ser. Nos vimos y yo me mostré desnudo, sin mascaras ni nada guardado, mostrando mi saber, mis poesías y mi natural encanto, a esa bella mujer que natural se presentaba y asi nuestros corazones se encontraron, enlazándose en un idilio eterno de sinceridad y sin mascaras en el camino al fin encontré mi destino con 33 veces intentando me encontré a mi al amor que tanto había buscado, al fin lo halle.

En este mundo pensamos que poniéndonos una mascara y así fingiendo lo que no somos, así es que encontraremos el amor verdadero mas si aun lo creemos, hallar no será el amor verdadero por que al final será artificial y así como una mascara se caerá al final, mas tampoco debes intentar cambiar a tu persona amada, si no aceptar tal como es sin mascara, así disfrutar de los dos descubriendo nuevas cosas.

Al final le dije a esa mujer que tantas mascaras me mostro que su deseo se cumplió y encontré el amor en otra mujer. Aunque ella se molesto sintiéndose traicionada aunque así no lo veo yo por que nunca me dio su corazón eterno y que dejara de mostrar tantas mascaras así como yo lo había hecho y con ella sentí en carne propia lo frágil del amor con mascaras que se asoman nunca será verdadero.

Espero que este relato les haya gustado espero sus palabras de agrado o quizás quejas que tomare en cuenta para mejorar cada dia.

ENGLISH VERSION

I was a shy young man who wanted more than ever to find love, I liked poetry, classical music and walks outdoors, but in this artificial world where networks drive us to touch up ourselves, hiding our self, I thought that I could find love by changing my being, putting on a mask and this was an adventure that instead of bringing me closer to love, took me even further away from it.

I began to put on the mask of a fun and jocular being, but since it was not my true self, it was never funny.

So trying to find women by making them laugh with my grace, without talent, instead of laughter I only gave pain and so with 7 women that I got at the beginning, in the end it was a disaster without laughter, because I was trying to make jokes with them, trying to appear in a good mood, Like I gave one a gift but with a jumping snake who got scared and never spoke to me again, for another on her birthday I buried her face in the cake and she never invited me to any party again and so they moved further away. And more for me this was in primary school the first attempts to get love and that's how it ended only because of my bad and inappropriate sense of humor.

Thus my first 5 failures, without girlfriends or friends they wanted to have me in their life, in the end only a bad joke was what I got.

High school arrived and I saw a new opportunity, discarding that mask, but still believing that poetry was not the path nor my true being was the destiny, I put on another mask again, there I tried to put on the mask of a rocker who did not follow the rules. , looking for rowdy parties and with scandal that they couldn't stand, making screams seeming to enjoy such music, and although I had some friends because I was a great student, although wanting to seem like a rebel I didn't study as much and I didn't do so well, that's how I came out with 8 women from that environment that for me was artificial, but since it was not my real being and only an imitation in the end, it emerged through the seams that my being was not comfortable there in that environment that contrasted with my true being.

Every time I went out with one of those friends that my being was looking for something more, in the end I did not connect the soul to reach the heart that my soul would love, many tried to make me do things beyond my being like drinking excessively or trying cigarettes or even those parties with that music that my being couldn't stand. With many I only went out with them once and they didn't call me again or I didn't insist more with them that environment couldn't stand it anymore.

So high school arrived and I didn't learn, so another mask wore to try to find the love that my soul craves so much.
Even though I didn't like it very much, as a salsa dancer it was the outfit I put on and looked like, so searching and searching for friends, I finally had other attempts, there were already 13 times I had tried and this time 9 more women who passed through me and they just walked away, although many of them really seemed to have some interest, this time I was more careful with my studies and for that reason alone many of them looked for me for their subjects to help them pass and although I went to parties and with the dance and the salsa tried to captivate, just a sound of stomping and graceless dancing, a disaster that a rhythm did not cause, they never wanted to go deeper and so in the end my old friend, the only one faithful to me, was the one who accompanied my loneliness.

I tried various rhythms, merengues, cumbias and many more but it was only a mask that I never managed to adjust, that's how I spent the end of high school, with nothing else I found one thing was to change the mask again, when entering another environment, the university, it will be There I graduated at the end and with another mask was my bad thinking.

At that age I entered university in something that I liked and gave me a feeling of unparalleled joy, studying biology because stumbling through life I discovered that that was what my soul desired, studying was my passion, in knowledge but In my blindness and afraid to show my being, I put on another mask.

I got a job, an internship from the beginning, but since I was still living with my mother and that's why I didn't grow up, since only when we fly away from the nest, facing life is that we learn to avoid problems and thus live life as cruel, but all the money he could spend on them.

A mask of luxury but in debt, to try to dazzle with expensive gifts and dates, in luxuries and superfluous things, but I only brought plastic women and my heart with them could not be seen and some that were worth it, seeing myself so plastic and more even with that mask he had. They did not want life to pass with me, because in their innermost being they smelled falsehood and so 5 more women passed in my life, my pocket could no longer bear that mask and it only brought failures and not even a moment of love could I find. .

So, almost defeated and depressed, I immersed myself in a virtual world of games after trying 29 times, so I just wanted to show myself. That's how I met 3 more women, showing them a little about myself and to the last one I dedicated some verses until at the end he told me that he loved me and wanted to meet me.

This last time I went further, kisses, caresses and almost the rest, although it stopped me that time for something that I later understood why. But with her I finally understood that with masks like that I made them feel because every call and every encounter could reveal a mask that their being covered.

Although I never wanted to be a lover, my destiny with her was, sometimes she told me that she wants everything with me, but something in her life did not let her stay there and thus throw herself into my eternal arms, and that perhaps in other arms my joy should be found. This is how I felt walking on a thin edge, about to fall scattered and my heart would once again be abandoned in solitude.

So I launched my whole being without masks, praising with poetry every woman who seemed to me to deserve it, and in that way I found a beautiful woman although my intention was not even intended to be able to see her live and directly and only a friendship. virtual would be for months or years I would have and with her words I would be relieved to endure all the masks that she showed that attempt 32 that I now had.

But she still told me that she saw me in other arms, although later I realized that she really wasn't saying it and it was just for something to fill the emptiness and uncertainty of her being. So with that virtual friendship that I never intended to be like that my attempt at love began 33 just as you see 33 times trying to find love that always ended in horror finding only the impious loneliness that never left me.
Talking to that woman without thinking or searching, she told me, let's meet in person to see your whole being. We saw each other and I showed myself naked, without masks or anything kept, showing my knowledge, my poetry and my natural charm, to that beautiful woman who presented herself naturally and thus our hearts found each other, linking in an eternal idyll of sincerity and without masks. On the way, I finally found my destiny. With 33 attempts, I found the love I had searched for so much, I finally found it.

In this world we think that by putting on a mask and thus pretending what we are not, so we will find true love but if we still believe it, finding it will not be true love because in the end it will be artificial and just like a mask it will fall off in the end. , but you should not try to change your loved one, but rather accept him as he is without a mask, thus enjoying both of you discovering new things.

In the end I told that woman who had so many masks showed me that her wish was fulfilled and I found love in another woman. Although she was upset, feeling betrayed, although I don't see it that way because she never gave me her eternal heart and stopped showing so many masks just as I had done, and with her I felt firsthand how fragile love is, with masks that never show. will be true.

I hope you liked this story. I look forward to your words of pleasure or perhaps complaints that I will take into account to improve every day.

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