It's great that writing serves as an outlet for the difficulties you're facing in life. It's arguably one of the healthiest outlets you could have, and indeed your writing just creaks open a door to the depths of what's bothering you.

Yet, I'm not certain that you've managed to face it all as optimally as you could be, and the biggest factor driving me to say this is you consideration of heading to the bottle as a manner of coping. I hope you don't go in that direction, because I've personally seen the consequences of those who have... and it's the opposite of pretty. Please do keep writing your thoughts, and if you still need a shoulder to lean on, you have people who'll be there for you. 😊