Keeping My Advice To Myself

in Ecency10 months ago

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Hello beautiful people! I believe your week is going on well. In this post, I want to share with you a decision that I took some years ago. Looking back now, I think I can rightly say that it is one of the best decisions I have ever made... that is, as far as I can remember.

A Little Bit About Myself
I am the kind of person that doesn't have too many friends, but the few friends I have always know me to be loyal to our friendship. Being a very sensitive person, I am always careful about what I say or do. But somehow, I found out that some of the friends I had didn't even care about my feelings when they say or do certain things to me.

For instance, a very close friend of mine used to almost always ask for my opinion whenever she had some decisions to take. Sometimes, the decision may have to do with money. At other times, it may be related to relationships.

The Trend I Noticed
As time went on, I observed that every time my advice or suggestion worked well for her, she would take credit for the success. On the other hand, if something goes wrong, she wouldn't stop blaming me. Imagine someone telling you over and over, "You were the one that advised me to do so and so". Or even saying things like, "I wish I hadn't listened to you."

My New Strategy
Those kinds of statements were painful to me, and I had to sit down with myself and think. Why would someone keep coming to me for advice only to turn back and blame me when things go wrong? What if my advice and suggestions end up landing me in big trouble? That last one was a bit scary, but it helped me come up with a new strategy, hehehe!

So each time this friend of mine came to me with any issue seeking my advice, I turned the flashlight on her. I would be like, "So what do YOU plan to do?" Or ,I would say, "You really have to think of a way!"

Taking Responsibility
It wasn't long before my friend realised that I had decided to make her start taking responsibility for her decisions and actions instead of using me and blaming me at the end.

I also learnt that whenever I dish out advice or suggestions to people, I should ask myself whether I am ready to bear the consequences if something went wrong. Till date, I prefer keeping my advice to myself to avoid stories that touch the heart. This singular decision has helped me a lot even in marriage.

I have written this post in response to the prompt given by @kenechukwu97 in The Thinker's Corner. Find out more in this post.

Thank you for reading. I, @ngwinndave authored this post. The photo in this post is a free-to-use image from pixabay.
Please, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and I will get back to you. Thank you once again.

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Awww, thank you so very much!

Yay! 🤗
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Thank you for the boost, @ecency.

Oh, my! That "I wish I hadn't listened to you" rubs off the wrong way in most cases, especially when you hear that from someone you genuinely wanted to help with your advice.

The new approach you decided to take with her is the way it should be, even if you are talking to someone that appreciates your advice.

Sometimes, the best way to help people is to make them think about what they are facing so they can come up with solutions on their own. That's a very practical approach and it also teaches them to be responsible for the outcome of whatever decision they finally make.

This is so spot on! I learnt my lesson in a painful way, but that has saved me a lot of headaches. At least, no one can say I'm tele-guiding them, hehehe!

Well, it is nice you gave her the right medicine to her actions.

Taking credits when things she was advised fir works out and shading the person when it does not shows how hypocritical she is.

However, giving her advice doesn't mean she is meant to just take it. She's supposed to weigh it and think deeply if it is truly applicable before venturing into it.

So, the way you turned the table around her serves her right.

Yes, you just nailed it. The fact that I gave her advice doesn't take away her responsibility of weighing the pros and cons before taking action. But then, I had to just think of a way to free myself from receiving blame.

Giving advice doesn't mean you bewitched the person. They ought to weigh what has been given and see what they truly want.

You did well doing that. Thanks for sharing once again.

Thanks for visiting, @balikis95 . I appreciate you.

You are welcome fellow dreemer.

Well, I feel in some cases.
Some words in an advice should be filtered.
Or check who you are going to advise and know how to advise the person.

That's right! I totally agree with you. These days, I am extra careful someone comes yo me for advice.

Lesson learned 😅

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Thanks so much, @hivebuzz

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