Hello hive and qc fam, greetings!
Life is unpredictable, full of ups and downs that getting by each day can be considered a sheer miracle. Living life is also filled with expectations. Expectations from our spouses, kids, jobs, business, friends, families and more. This is the way we have been programmed over time via diverse upbringings and societal influence.
Image is mine
When a child is born, the mom expects the child to grow up obediently and emulate her every move. The dad wants the child to carry on his legacy and become a junior dad figure. The society expects that the child will grow up to bring glory and pride to all. This is just an excerpt from the expectations that are haboured deep within the heart.
But like all phases in life, there's always a "high" side, where all goes well as expected and then there's the "down side or valley point", where things just go haywire, spewing our expectations all over the place like a shattered bird's egg. This valley point is generally referred to as a "setback".
Setbacks are times of disappointments, when what we hoped for did not materialize as expected. This could be due to numerous factors such as delay, neglect, insensitivity e.t.c. Whichever might be the cause, no one enjoys experiencing a setback.
Setbacks are like impediment to the journey of life. Life is always advancing, moving forward, not waiting for anyone. If you don't believe me, just check your calendar and see today's date.
To curb any setback from occuring on my watch, I developed a habit of having back up plans, plan A, B and even C. I try to play out the outcome of events from diverse angles, just so I can plan against any setback. I'm sure you're thinking that I always succeeded right?, Well nope.... cos despite my backup plans, the little fox called setback still finds a way to creep into my tent.
Photo by Ketut Sabiyanto from pexels
So what do I do to overcome setbacks effectively? Read on...
My tips to recuperating from a setback
Whenever I encounter a setback, I tend to feel really hurt and depressed especially when that setback involves finances.. One of such painful setbacks occurred some months after I lost my mom (11years ago). This man was the general overseer of the church my family and I attended then. He stood on th altar one fateful service day to declare how he would sponsor my education to any level and all that, buttressing his declaration with the fact that my mom was a faithful memberr in church. So doing this was a small token for him. Of course this man had the money cos he owned chains of businesses, so no one doubted him at all. I especially stood up to shout the loudest "hallelujah" , believing that "my destiny helper had come".
He told me to come see him in his office the next day so things could kick off in earnest. With joy, I arrived at his office an hour before opening time, all his staff met me there, seated and waiting for him. I waithed for ten hours yet he did not shiw up. I had to drop a letter with his secretary, notifying him of my chosen institution of study and the necessary fees to be paid,.
I waited for a call up so that I could be assured that he got the letter but I waited for fourteen days with no response. On the fifteenth day, he sent his secretary to ask me if the amount I needed for my schooling as written in the letter was a loan and when would I be paying him back. I was shocked and horrified but I quickly masked it and told the secretary that it wasn't a loan but a request of financial assistance for my schooling. No response came till date. I struggled my way through school alone.
The above story is just one scenario of a setback that happened to me many years ago. Now, let's dive into how I overcome setbacks effectively, so as to maintain a healthy emotional state of mind which is needed for optimum productivity.
*I cry if necessary. I don't try to act all "big". I go into my closet and cry, pouring out all the bitterness and anger through my tears.
I take responsibility and don't play the "blame game". I learn from it.
I also go to my trusted inner circle and confide in them. I try to avoid bottling things up as this might lead to resentment in my heart. I spill to those I trust about what happened and welcome their views and encouragement on the matter. I have found that doing this helps lessen the pain.
Lastly, I dive into doing things I love. My hobbies are a thing of succour for me. I take long walks with my airpods plugged to my ears and cool music playing through them. I also read good motivational books to help stabilize my mind. I also cook or exercise. Nothing like a goid swim to burn off some steam, hehe.
All these mentioned above are easy and affordable, they cost nothing but they help ne bounce back to my optimistic self whenever a setback arises.
I hope that someone out there, going through a setback, will find these tips helpful as well.
Thank you all for reading...shalom
