My dear, do you have a magic crystal ball with you?
All you have said is what I am going tru.
These friends want me to always be with them and I'm finding it choking, yet I cannot leave.
When I finally get to leave them, I find that I have a lot of things piling up for me to do and then I become stressed.
I can say no but like you said, pity and excess compassion leads me to stay.
I'm calling it quits and moving up the ladder.