Hello everyone! How are you doing today? Hopefully, you are all doing great today. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of this community. I can convey my hobby of writing, telling stories, and even talking about life. I also feel not alone because I can expand my network of friends from various countries.
I'm a person who tends to be closed and doesn't have many friends. I'm not good at speaking, especially in a new environment. I only have one or two best friends. If I meet new people, I will be quieter and unable to open a conversation or discuss something that could become a long discussion. I don't really like socializing and really only feel comfortable with people who I feel like I'm compatible with. But, once I get along and feel comfortable with people I will talk a lot and our conversations become very interesting. I will talk a lot and many topics will be interesting to discuss together, especially personal problems.
This is actually our picture in 2022
I never share about my personal life so honest like I do in this hive community. I'm starting to feel comfortable being able to tell stories here even though it's virtual. I have never told about my life in detail on any social media other than here. That’s why I never feel ashamed or afraid to tell my unspoken feelings. Maybe, I feel more comfortable with writing than speaking. I will be very open about many things here not only about happiness but also sadness. It makes me truly relieved. I can tell stories as much as I want and make friends who are not only good in front but bad behind. I really want to share about God’s never ending goodness in my life too. I have one thing that I would like to share about one more miracle that God gave to me.
Honestly, my husband and I are now in a situation where we are facing an unpleasant situation. We struggle to survive in this harsh life. Yes, we are in a state of economic crisis which means we have to really save money and work even harder than before.
Now, we rarely go outside which can spend money alot. We rarely go on trips if we do not really have to, we travel like last Christmas holiday. So, I fill my days at home with karaoke singing songs that I like. Maybe that's my only entertainment for me otherwise I have to take care of the children and cook some dishes.
This is my bestie at home :D
My husband was an online entrepreneur so he could work from home. He did not go anywhere, he just stayed at home and make some money from there. It was quite sufficient for living even more excessive. However, it is different now. After pandemic of Covid in 2020, that changed everything. Our lives have changed. I could not pay the bills, our online shop business at the market place gradually became so slow and the stock of things we sell, stopped. We also have a house bill every month and we could not pay it so we asked for a relaxation in Bank which should have been paid in the amount of 5.6 million rupiah to 1 million and that will be charged in the coming year. Our situation is truly complicated. we were confused about what to do. My husband was forced to borrow money from online loans such as Shopee to fulfill our needs and pay the bills that had to be paid every month. It felt like we couldn't take it anymore so we started selling the assets we owned such as my gold jewelry, the gold necklace that he had had for a long time, also valuable items that were no longer really needed such as treadmill. We also had car that we had to sell and trade it for cheaper and more affordable car.
We still continue to struggle with our difficult economic situation. As time went on, my husband continued to borrow money from online loans, which eventually piled up and the amount increased it's like we dig a hole and close the hole, borrow in one place to pay in another place and so on. As time went by, we got a little help from the car buying and selling business. We buy a cheap car and sell it again at higher prices. It is quite profitable and helps pay our debts in online loans for awhile.
Until in the end our car had little value because it turned out it still could not help our economy. Our expenses are much greater than our income. Even though we have tried to live as frugally as possible, I even cook at home every day to save money on buying food outside. It still did not help us. One moment, we almost sold our wedding ring which made me and my husband arguing more often than usual.
Finally we agreed not to sell our wedding rings because I didn't agree with that. In my opinion it also doesn't really help our finances get better. We decided to sell the only car we had and no longer use the car. In the end we just used the motorbike left by my father. The biggest problem we faced was that my house. I had to pay the house bill every month and we still could not do it. Our debt at the bank was still very large and we definitely could not pay it yet. After thinking for a long time, I finally told about my problem to my aunt in Surabaya who is a relative of my father that might be could help us. I asked her for help on how to solve this problem. I was really desperate because if I could no longer pay my monthly house bills, then my house would be auctioned by the bank and we would no longer be able to live in that house. We would be stranded and did not know where to go. We did not even have any money left. I still could not imagine how we become at that time. All I could do was that I just prayed to God and I said to Him that He would never let me, He would not let me on this situation alone, He would not let me homeless and hopeless. That was I could confirm exactly.
I told my problem to my mother and my brother. They did not have any solution for me. I told them that might be my aunt who is in Surabaya would help me. My brother told me that it was useless. I was thinking that I lost my father, I lost car, and if I could say that I lost hope too. But, no, I still believed in hope. There is always hope. I really do believe in God who gives a hope to me. I believed in miracle. Then, it happened. Miracle happened at that time. My aunt said that she would help pay the remaining debt in the bank and pay it off and the house would be ours in exchange for my father's house in Surabaya which was also an inheritance for me. The house as a replacement but she still didn't change anything in my father's little house there, she just needed the area for parking lot of her car. It was about more or less the remaining amount of debt in the bank is approximately 350 million rupiah. It has officially paid off, my house was paid off. Thank God. What is impossible for human, is possible for God.
I no longer have the burden of paying house installments every month, thank God. A new problem still continues and it is about work. I started helping my husband earn a living by making pudding vla and selling it at my child's school. At my child's school there is a canteen where you can leave food to sell there. The benefits are quite helpful in our daily lives, but if it's quiet then it's still not enough. I've also tried selling pudding at other schools and in the end it didn't work out as expected. Until now I still sell pudding in my child's school canteen. I also offer private English tutoring for school children and maybe next year I will have tutoring students.
We cannot pay the school building fees and school fees every month which are in arrears. Like it or not, my husband is trying to find another job besides an online shop that is right for him, especially nowadays in Indonesia it is very difficult to find work. Many people are looking for company marketing but most of them here are not paid or only receive a salary in the first 2 or 3 months of work after that the salary is only obtained from selling company products, for example property or car companies. If he can't sell anything then he won't get anything either. That's the rule. The work is also quite heavy and time consuming.
Once we thought about working abroad, specifically in Australia. Aussie is a pretty good country to work in and also it is not far from Indonesia. There is a friend of mine there who has lived there for 8 years and she is successful now. But, going to Australia is not easy because you have to go through many strict requirements that must be obeyed and fulfilled. This life is so hard. There are also a lot of costs that have to be incurred if we have to go there to work. I thought maybe just by going to Australia we could change our fate. I thought I would sell the only asset I had, my house which had been paid for and buy a new house that was not expensive so I would have money left over for the cost of leaving abroad. I will leave my child in Indonesia and entrust him to his grandmother. But even then, we still have a lot to consider. How can we be separated from our child, how is he without us, how is life in Australia, can we survive there, adapt and many more. I have no idea at all. Once again, I surrender all to God.
Recently my mother lent us money to buy a car for my husband who works as an online transportation such as Grab, Go Car, Maxim here. My mother gave 50 million rupiah to buy a car and we got a car that was actually not very good. My mother said that I had to pay her 50 thousand rupiah every day. Then, my husband and I went out of town to pick up the car and it was a very long journey of around 2 hours even though we were supposed to pick up our child from school at 11.30 in the afternoon. When we arrived at the car we were going to buy out of town, the car turned out to have overheated in the middle of the road and I had bad feelings about this car from the start, but my husband didn't hear me and he still bought it. So we were stuck in the middle of the road outside the city. I called my mother to ask for help to pick up my child from school but when my mother picked him up from school, he didn't want to go home with his grandmother. The problem is very complicated. Finally I decided to go home first by Grab because my child at school didn't want to go home with his grandmother and had to come with me and Grab cost quite a lot, about 300 thousand rupiah. I had an argument with my husband who put this situation to me like this. What a mess!
our car for online transportation
We had to sell the car immediately and if possible we could make a profit from this sale to cover the repair costs we had to pay before. Finally a week later the car was sold and we made a profit of around 2 million rupiah. It is okay, we have to stay strong to face everything. We bought another used car for the same cost, 50 million rupiah. It's quite difficult because finding old cars with good quality is very difficult now a days. One thing I know with everything that happens in my life, I believe God will always help us. We can still exist today because of God. We are still forced to sell our house because we also want a new house close to my child's school, cheaper house, and we can use the remaining money to buy a new car for my husband to continue to work. Last Christmas someone saw our house and that person seemed interested in our house and intended to buy it after the new years, I really hope so. Hopefully the future will be better and God will help and provide miracles again to my family.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I hope that in the future we will all always be healthy, happy and God will bless us in everything we do. Don't give up, stay strong and there will always be hope for us! ^^
