"Be unemotional." 😂🤣 Just like that line from Sherlock Holmes on Enola Holmes 2 (movie we watched last Saturday). Now I give myself that same advice so I can carry on my day

We can't help being emotional people, but what we can do is work through our emotions to a point of closure and the roller coaster ride will be over... it doesn't mean the tragedy didn't happen, or that you won't be sad about it anymore, but it does mean that it will no longer interfere with your daily JOY and happiness, which are the emotions we are meant to feel once we pass our time of mourning.

In ancient times, mourning was a very serious thing. Nobody expected people to dismiss the dearly departed and just continue with life, no we're talking literal sackcloth and ashes, fasting, crying and great distress. But there was a catch: once the prescribed time of mourning was over, it was expected - no demanded that there be no more of any of that. It was back to normal life, daily routine, speak no more of it, put on nice cloths, wash daily, etc etc. Seems extreme, but that's how it was long ago. The community would frown upon anyone who extended their mourning period beyond the prescribed time, even if they were not fully healed of the pain. Seems harsh, but that's how it was, people would accuse the mourner of being "lazy" or "ill" or trying to avoid responsibilities if they extended their mourning period. That might not be fair, as some people need more time, but again - that's just how it was. Social pressure is a heavy thing.

I wouldn't advise the above for anyone, it seems very theatrical to wear scratchy clothing and get dirty with ashes to express grief, and very jarring to just "quit" mourning - but perhaps there is a grain of truth in it. We, as emotional beings, need a period of time devoted completely to mourning to heal the hurt, before returning to normal life. But also normal life must return at some point, we cannot be in mourning forever, and it's not dishonorable to the memory of the deceased to ensure that these memories do not interfere with daily life, once the time of mourning is completed.

I pray that you will feel the joy and peace that comes when your heart is fully healed and the pangs of emotions that you feel thinking of your beloved mother will not hurt so much. You will always miss her, and many fond memories will be preserved by your love for her and the love that many people feel for her. Look forward to the peace and joy that we are designed to enjoy every day, without internal mental interference!

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