[EN/PT-BR] I respect my children's privacy, but I always keep an eye on them!

in Hive Learners14 days ago

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Concern for the privacy of the people we love is something that should be taken seriously, even though many say we shouldn't care, I think we should find a way to balance things. As a parent, I would like to share how I approach this issue with my children, being children, we know that we must often be invasive for their own good, after all, as children their innocence and lack of experience does not help in this regard.

With the world increasingly connected and children increasingly with cell phones in their hands and at their young age, they do not understand about life and its dangers, so we know that there are good people just as there are bad ones on the internet and with that, great dangers They await our little ones in this virtual world, which means that we, the parents, often have to violate their privacy to understand and understand what they are doing or who they are talking to on their cell phones in the thousands of applications available.

I believe it is necessary to have a balance, after all I also like privacy and I want my children to have it too, but I cannot be irresponsible in letting them do what they want without actively participating in their lives and asking who they have spoken to and interacted with. There are many games that my children play and many of them allow you to turn on the camera and transmit audio in real time and this is a danger for them. Therefore, in these moments I always try to ask who they are talking to, whether it is someone they know or not, everything is very calm, without pressure, this way I become a concerned friend of theirs and not an annoying father who wants to know everything.

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Educating, talking and participating is essential for parents and I do this a lot with them, I've lost count of how many times I've called them to talk and explain about the dangers of online games, that if an adult or even a child talks to them and says strange or sexual things, that they don't respond, don't talk and obviously no turning on video or audio and telling me or mom what's happening. To give them privacy, I preferred not to use the parental control system on their cell phones, which in this case are on the Android operating system.

I could leave it on, keep an eye on everything they do, but would that be good? Would it really help? I prefer to try to create a relationship of trust, and when they make a mistake I make a point of talking and pulling their ear about what they did wrong and explaining that this or that is dangerous. This way I show that I trust them to download their games or watch their videos, but that they pay attention to what they are watching and playing and whether or not I am always around, listening and seeing what they are doing, so we can say that I am watching, but without them knowing.

When it comes to my children's friendships, I also always talk to them, to be careful with some friends who aren't really friends. Whenever they say a new name or go to someone's house, I like to ask who they are and where they live (we live in a vertical condominium) so that I have an idea of ​​where they are and ask them not to leave that place and go to another without notifying me first. This way, I gain my children's trust, always keeping an eye on them and without putting pressure on them or invading their privacy.

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A preocupação com a privacidade das pessoas que amamos é algo que deve ser levada a sério, por mais que muitos digam que não devemos nos importar, penso que devemos encontrar uma forma de equilibrar as coisas. Como pai, gostaria de compartilhar como entro nessa questão com meus filhos, sendo crianças, sabemos que devemos muitas vezes ser invasivos para o próprio bem deles, afinal, como crianças a inocência e falta de experiência deles não ajuda nesse quesito.

Com o mundo cada vez mais conectado e crianças cada vez mais com celulares em mãos e com sua pouca idade, não entendem sobre a vida e seus perigos, então sabemos que existem pessoas boas assim como existem as más na internet e com isso, grandes perigos aguardam nossos pequenos neste mundo virtual, o que faz com que nós os pais, tenham muitas vezes que ferir a privacidade deles para entender e compreender o que andam fazendo ou com quem estão conversando no celular nos milhares de aplicativos que tem disponível.

Acredito ser preciso ter um equilíbrio, afinal eu também gosto de privacidade e quero que meus filhos também tenham, mas, não posso ser irresponsável de deixar eles fazerem o que querem sem participar ativamente de suas vidas e perguntar com quem tem falado e interagido. Existem muitos jogos que meus filhos jogam e muito deles permitem ligar a câmera e realizar a transmissão de áudios em tempo real e isso é um perigo para eles. Portando, nesses momentos tento sempre perguntar com quem estão falando, se é alguém conhecido ou não, tudo bem tranquilo, sem pressão, assim me torno um amigo preocupado deles e não um pai chato que quer saber de tudo.

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Educar, conversar e participar é essencial para os pais e faço muito isso com eles, já perdi a conta de quantas vezes chamei para conversar e explicar sobre os perigos dos jogos online, que se um adulto ou até mesmo uma criança fala com eles e diz coisas estranhas ou com cunho sexual, que eles não respondam, não falem e obviamente nada de ligar vídeo ou áudio e que contem para mim ou para a mamãe o que está acontecendo. Para dar a eles privacidade, eu preferi não utilizar o sistema de controle dos pais dos seus celulares, que no caso são do sistema operacional Android.

Poderia deixar isso ligado, ficar de olho em tudo o que fazem, mas será que isso seria bom? Ajudaria mesmo? Prefiro tentar criar uma relação de confiança, e quando erram faço questão de conversar e puxar a orelha deles no que erraram e explicar que isso ou aquilo é perigoso. Dessa forma mostro que confio neles em baixar seus joguinhos ou ver seus vídeos, mas que prestem atenção no que estão vendo e jogando e querendo ou não to sempre por perto, ouvindo e vendo o que estão fazendo, então assim podemos dizer que estou vigiando, mas sem que eles saibam.

No quesito amizades dos meus filhos, também sempre converso com eles, para terem cuidado com alguns amigos que não são bem amigos. Sempre que dizem um nome novo ou que vão para casa de alguém, eu gosto de perguntar quem é e onde mora (vivemos em um condomínio vertical) para que assim eu tenha a noção de onde estão e peço para não saírem do tal lugar e irem para outro sem antes me avisar. Dessa forma, conquisto a confiança dos meus filhos, mantendo sempre o olho neles e sem fazer pressão ou invadir sua privacidade.

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Thx man!

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Your perspective on parenting in the digital age is insightful. By fostering trust and open dialogue, you're creating a safe environment for your children while respecting their privacy.

Exactly, I want to have this open channel with them, I think it's better than trying to be more intrusive or trying to do things hidden away, without them knowing. Building trust like this between us is my greatest desire and I think I'm heading in the right direction. Thanks for the comment!

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My God.... I thought it was a normal comment... even in the comments I have to pay more attention. Thank you for the warning.

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Communication is very important, once we have good communication with our loved ones, I am sure they won't keep issues bothering them away from us. Privacy is good but it has its bad sides too

That's what I always strive for with my children, to have that freedom to be able to talk and understand whether something bad is happening or not, I think that's much better than pushing the envelope and trying to find out something or invading their privacy.

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É um limite muito tênue entre a privacidade e a invasão dela... mas realmente, no caso de crianças, a gente tem que ficar muito de olho

Sempre bom, infelizmente temos "pessoas" que se aproveitam da inocência das crianças =/

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