Giving advice to a person or persons should not be done lightly but with every sense of responsibility and maturity. Words are easy to speak but when spoken from experience, it is gold. Why do I say these?
I remember an odd conversation that took place between a neighbour and her friend. I was present there because I'd gone to offer my condolence on the loss of her elder brother and the only son of her family. She was very close to him.
My neighbour and I had talked for a while and I tried to comfort her, make her understand that loss is part of life and all the things a person can say to make a bereaved person feel better. I was almost going to leave when a friend of hers came in. So I thought to wait for like a few minutes before leaving.
Then this friend made a statement that caused my neighbour more pain. My neighbour lamented about how the death was unexpected and unfair because her brother recently got married and was just starting a new phase of life. Her friend replied, "Sorry. I understand."
My neighbour was quiet for a moment and I sensed something was wrong. She asked her friend solemnly, "how do you understand? Have you lost a brother before?"
This friend was shocked into silence and so was I! The question was unexpected and from the friend's silence I realised she had not suffered such a loss but spoke out of turn which hurt my neighbour. So I did a little damage control and quickly left.
I sometimes wonder why people feel the need to speak or give advice when they do not have requisite experience. When giving advice, it's meaningful if it's spoken from experience and not just because it was read from somewhere.
Question: Would you take marital advice from an experienced, happily married couple or from a single person who has read lots of books on relationships?
This is one area where I see some people make costly mistakes. They listen to people who have not experienced something similar and are quick to talk, either to make money out of the situation or to appear popular and intelligent.
I believe this is the reason employers insist on "work experience" when interviewing prospective employees. Most of us know that when job hunting, the interviewer will skim through your résumé and angle straight to the work experience part. If there is no experience, how can that employee carry out his duties effectively without the requisite experience.
Just as experience matters in the employment circle, it matters much more in our day to day living and relationships.
Advice often leads to decisions and action follows. If a wrong advice is given, people may suffer for it. Some experience may be painful but out of it will come wisdom to direct other people in the right path.
Thank you for visiting my blog.
Image by Mel Mel from Unsplash
Image by Frame Harirak from Unsplash
